Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
how drunk are you?
Several
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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