Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
