Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
