I just cut my nipple shaving
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
