1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca