I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids