I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.