yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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