I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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