He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize