So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Randomize
