Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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