I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
