Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
