Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
