I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
