Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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