Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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