Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
