Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
