you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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