Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
