yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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