I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
