She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
