He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
