The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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