Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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