I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize