What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
