he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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