I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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