We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
