This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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