i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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