I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
