I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
and you fell through a lawn chair
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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