i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
