If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
