discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
