Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
