Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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