Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
