i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Barsexuality is the new black.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
