she was so not down for the gang bang
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just invented taco cereal.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize