like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
