dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
