I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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