There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
