you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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