So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
