if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize