clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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