my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
