i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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