when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
