wakey wakey hands off snakey
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We talked him into tasing himself.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
