i don't like sucking hair
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
