We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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