It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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