Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
