I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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