she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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