By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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