Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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