it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
