Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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