Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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