And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
