i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
